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Is Humour the Best Way Of Dealing With Adversity: Or Is It Better Tae Enjoy Being Miserable?


Gedee

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Better if eh qualify the bit above first ... I am not necessarily taking this topic too seriously. And like everyone else I'm aware that there are tragedies (personal & otherwise) that simply cannot be shaken off, with a smile or a wee laugh. And you dinnae have to have reached my age to be fully aware of this.

But on a general theme. If that's possible. How much is a bit humour, Happy Clappyness, important to you?

No looking for expert responses here ... Although supporting DFC should put you in the "expert category" :wacko:

No talking either aboot funny jokes an awe that. But mair on yir attitude to life. Are you a miserable bugger?

In case that last comment sounds offensive, I am NOT talking about depression & mental illness sufferers.

But even on forum I seem to find posters taking themselves too seriously, just about devoid of any humour.

So that's you lot telt :lol2: Bring in the next patient please:chaplin:

 

 

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You've chosen a thin line to walk there Geedee. I'll give it a go though.

I consider myself a generally optimistic kind of person. If I apply for a job or a contract that I think I have a reasonable chance of getting, I'll happily make plans in my head with the assumption that I got it. If it means moving to another country, I have been known to have sourced a house, schools for the kids, and a choice of local golf courses, all before finding out the result of the application. The logic behind it is that I have no way of knowing before hand and I will be disappointed if I don't get it anyway, so why not enjoy the days and weeks leading up to the decision. Interestingly, my wife likes to completely forget about the application and refuses even to talk about it.

On the other hand, when I get some bad news, like not getting a job or contract I really wanted, or a bad defeat for the Dee, especially when I thought we were going to win, I actually do enjoy a wee wollow in the dolldrums. Anything from an hour to a week will do, but I usually end up talking and thinking myself out of it and feeling better for it in the end. My wife always reminds me of my mothers favourite saying "Whats for ye 'll no go bye ye" and we then get on with the rest of our lives.

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1 hour ago, andrak said:

You've chosen a thin line to walk there Geedee. I'll give it a go though.

I consider myself a generally optimistic kind of person. If I apply for a job or a contract that I think I have a reasonable chance of getting, I'll happily make plans in my head with the assumption that I got it. If it means moving to another country, I have been known to have sourced a house, schools for the kids, and a choice of local golf courses, all before finding out the result of the application. The logic behind it is that I have no way of knowing before hand and I will be disappointed if I don't get it anyway, so why not enjoy the days and weeks leading up to the decision. Interestingly, my wife likes to completely forget about the application and refuses even to talk about it.

On the other hand, when I get some bad news, like not getting a job or contract I really wanted, or a bad defeat for the Dee, especially when I thought we were going to win, I actually do enjoy a wee wollow in the dolldrums. Anything from an hour to a week will do, but I usually end up talking and thinking myself out of it and feeling better for it in the end. My wife always reminds me of my mothers favourite saying "Whats for ye 'll no go bye ye" and we then get on with the rest of our lives.

Really enjoyed reading that response andrak (quite a learning experience)  Although, maybe no sae far away from the way, I like to think I approach life.

I've been told I've got a fine enthusiasm for things. Meaning I hope, I don't wait for things to happen. But dinnae have the physical energy I used to have.

The brain ticks awa fine (sometimes on daft overdrive) But dinnae loup into things, but plan & sometimes "force " things to happen...(Enough o' me tho)

Will finish on these "auld weel used sayings" Much of them make good sense & are based on experience. But they dinnae half contradict themselves:chaplin:

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2 hours ago, Neil Cameron said:

I worked in the care field for over 40 years. I would say that to have a sense of humour was a must. I would never laugh at the people who I looked after rather I would laugh along with them and their families when I thought it was acceptable and never if it wasn't.

I think I know where you are coming from Neil ... At 75rs, I've experience & enjoyed a range of jobs.

Although in the later stages of my working career, I decided to take a complete change of direction & went to college/uni. for a qualification in Social Work, which took me to working with young perons in residential care & adults with learning & physical disability, and those with very special needs. Your own time in the caring sector was much longer than my own, so without going into detail I concur totally with what you have said above.

However if I can add one thing ... It might be OK to take others seriously. But don't take ourselves too seriously ... And we'll be fine :)

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Gedee :)

How you deal with adversity in life is important, not only for your own well being but also how others help you through it

Dealing with more serious issues in life with a bit of humour especially when relating the issues to others will generally have people more willing to help you recover from whatever it is, where as when you are more of a why me? person people tend to stay their distance

With less serious matters it's good to tell a tale and be the butt of the joke from time to time and enjoy a laugh at the absurdity of the situaution

 

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17 hours ago, Harold Finch said:

Gedee :)

How you deal with adversity in life is important, not only for your own well being but also how others help you through it

Dealing with more serious issues in life with a bit of humour especially when relating the issues to others will generally have people more willing to help you recover from whatever it is, where as when you are more of a why me? person people tend to stay their distance

With less serious matters it's good to tell a tale and be the butt of the joke from time to time and enjoy a laugh at the absurdity of the situaution

 

I think you're absolutely right....or at least what you've said is absolutely right for me & any situations I've found myself in. I tend to think my life's always on the positive side of the fence, though, so I appreciate that for many it's a lot harder to see where humour & optimism fits in to their situation.

A bit of 'appropriate' black/ironic humour can do wonders to get someone laughing again...even if it's for a moment & they lapse back into a downer, they've seen that they can still laugh & will likely lift themselves out of it....with continued support & encouragement, a very important factor. 

When something is on the horizon that's probably not going to go well, I tend to think of both the positive & negative 'what if' options, so I've already got a 'plan b' & a way to deal with it, if it goes the wrong way. I agree that sharing our less serious 'mini disasters' with friends & being the butt of the joke is a good way to deal with them.

Shutting the door on the world & 'enjoying being miserable' can work for some things (derby defeats!?), but not something to be doing too often, as it may well create an impression of a 'why me?' outlook & scare people off....I don't think any of us wish to bring other folks' misery into our life too often.

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18 hours ago, Harold Finch said:

Gedee :)

How you deal with adversity in life is important, not only for your own well being but also how others help you through it

Dealing with more serious issues in life with a bit of humour especially when relating the issues to others will generally have people more willing to help you recover from whatever it is, where as when you are more of a why me? person people tend to stay their distance

With less serious matters it's good to tell a tale and be the butt of the joke from time to time and enjoy a laugh at the absurdity of the situaution

 

Harold I am fully behind your response above.

I think every point you've made has credibility.

Think you might already be saying the following (but worth repeating) Your own mood/attitude will affect others. Both happiness & sadness is infectious :wub:

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32 minutes ago, WoodStein said:

I think you're absolutely right....or at least what you've said is absolutely right for me & any situations I've found myself in. I tend to think my life's always on the positive side of the fence, though, so I appreciate that for many it's a lot harder to see where humour & optimism fits in to their situation.

A bit of 'appropriate' black/ironic humour can do wonders to get someone laughing again...even if it's for a moment & they lapse back into a downer, they've seen that they can still laugh & will likely lift themselves out of it....with continued support & encouragement, a very important factor. 

When something is on the horizon that's probably not going to go well, I tend to think of both the positive & negative 'what if' options, so I've already got a 'plan b' & a way to deal with it, if it goes the wrong way. I agree that sharing our less serious 'mini disasters' with friends & being the butt of the joke is a good way to deal with them.

Shutting the door on the world & 'enjoying being miserable' can work for some things (derby defeats!?), but not something to be doing too often, as it may well create an impression of a 'why me?' outlook & scare people off....I don't think any of us wish to bring other folks' misery into our life too often.

It's a fair point Wood' ... "I appreciate that for many it's a lot harder to see where humour & optimism fits in to their situation"

Above quote, in fact all of your post, hits the mark for me on every level. (As said, I'm talking generally. Not in medicall terms)

 

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