T'was The Night Before.....

[JoeCovenant]

Twas the night before Christmas, and all The Dark Blues
had logged on to our forum, to look through the news.
The posts had been slung on the webpage with care,
In knowledge that no single DAB would be there.

The members were all catching up with their threads,
while dreams of our victories danced in their heads.
And words of great joy were all over the map,
bringing peace unto all - unlike "other site's" crap.

When a post it was made, with so high a word count
That it threatened to wipe every other post out!
Away to the Mods I did fly like a flash,
to see if this tome would soon cause a huge crash!

The glint on the keys of my knackered PC,
Gave the lustre of silver to all I could see.
When, what to my wondering eyes should appear,
But a miniature sleigh, and eight Dark Blue reindeer.

With a little old driver, so full of great glee,
I knew in a moment it must be GeDee!
More rapid than eagles his coursers they came,
And he whistled, and shouted, and called them by name!

"Now, Misty! Now, Jamma! Now, Ivan and Cobra!
On, Bobba! On, Baldee! On Dark Blue Destroyer!
To the top of the League! To the top of the Pole!
Now post away! Post away! Post away all!"

Like the ego of Rangers - so stupidly high -
When they meet with an obstacle, wail and then cry.
So up to the Maltman the coursers they flew,
With the sleigh full of BEER, and old Double-'D' too.

And then, in a twinkling, I heard from the roof,
The whinges and moans of a bunch o wee P***s
So I ran to the bar and I snatched up the slops,
and I tipped them all over the weird tangy slobs.

They were soaked with the stench of a dozen liquers,
And their clothes were all tarnished (the durty auld Hoors!)
And one of the scum was laid flat in the street,
like a Mink who is looking for something to eat.

His eyes-they were bagged! His face was so crabby!
His cheeks were like ashtrays, his nose was all scabby!
His drooling wee mouth was drawn deep in a frown,
and so thick he did not know his up from his down.

The doubt of a fag he held tight in his teeth,
And the smoke it encircled his head like a wreath.
He had a fat face, and a far fatter gut,
He was quite the disgrace - Aye, a real Dabby... gentleman. (ahem)

He was grim and morose, a right miserable tit
And I laughed in the face of that moany auld git.
The glaze of his eyes and the smell of his breath,
made me think of old cabbage and deep, rotting death.

I spoke not a word, but stormed right through the brood,
And left them behind as I walked down Mains Road.
And reaching the bottom I then crossed the street
and walked into Dens - and then I saw a treat!

For after 2 hours, at the ref's final whistle,
The score was enough to make any DAB bristle.
The Dees they did sing - all the rest of that night!
"Three- Nil to Dundee! And United are......"

Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year's Game
From all at The Dark Blues Forum

[Billy Campbell's Ghost]

Brilliant Joe.....have a great Festive season and also to all our fans everywhere in the world.

[Dark Blue Destroyer]

Absolute legend ....

[Gedee]

Inspired and Excellent ......Creative and Humourous.    A Lot o' Hard Work  has went into that Joe. Is there no end to aw yir talents man ?

I hope you are no' neglecting your duties a a Moderator ........ This is when the villains will try to get awa wi' some sneaky, cheeky, posts !!

"A Very Happy and Peaceful Christmas to Everyone"

[Boba Fett]

Inspired Joe! Well played sir

Merry Christmas all

C'mon Dundee :-)

[TheDarkBlues]

Love it Joe.... inspired and refreshing

Merry Xmas everyone !

[UWTB1893]

Brilliant!!

I felt like standing up and applauding the hell out of that but I'm sure my missus would give me funny looks!

[WESTENDDEE]

Well done brilliant.

[DarkBlueKnight]

Magic! Here's to us. What a football club, what a great bunch of characters. *** bless the Dark Blues. Merry Christmas to you all brothers and sisters

[Cobra]

Great stuff Joe.

 

Apologies for being ignorant but were you responsible for the Johnnie Scobie tune? I read something that suggested as much and I wanted to check as I love that tune.

[chomp my root]

Good one dude, must have taken you a while. Your haul of 'blueys' would be huge.   Have a good day mate.

[aberfeldydee]

How much time have you got on your hands ?